Forbidden ordeals

There were a lot of forbidden ordeals that we faced as children, growing up.

This experiences were normalized, but as adults, throwing back and thinking, you realize you were somewhat abused.


1. You wan chop Jesus money?

“Teachers taking our lunch money on Friday mornings in the guise of offering, after Friday Chapel sessions.”

“Even bully you for only giving N100, talking about β€œyou can buy buns but can’t give God your money” 😑😑. ~ Ada

I swear, it cracked me up too πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

2. Who spoke Igbo?

“Writing down the names of igbo speakers in the class and having them punished for speaking Igbo or paying 10 naira for each native language that come out from their mouth.” ~ Wendy

Funny thing is, when I was serving as a corper, I implemented this for my principal.

No one spoke Yoruba when Corper Whisper came around. Thinking about it, hope they don’t hate me!

3. Shame, Shame, Shame… Shame!

“Kids coming last position in class and being brought out on the assembly ground for the whole school to chant Shame shame shame SHAME!” ~ Arinze

“Like… Someone must actually take the last position..

If you didn’t want that,why not use averages or percentage instead of positions.” ~ El-Jas

Abhii oo, someone had to carry last naπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ omo, this one back in FGC PH, they call it “WORST THREE”.

4. Men at work

“Once, each student was assigned a portion of land. We planted veggies and cassava, harvested them, worked with the girls in SS2 & 3 to make garri for the teachers.”

“I made up to two full bags of garri and they shared it and the veggies.” ~ Brown

I remember when I thought the corn we were planting was for us, wondered what our Agric teacher thought of me back thenπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ™†

5. Awon OlΓ© barawo

“For some us back home when money got missing we were beaten blue black till we confess thatat we took the money because that’s the only way they will stop beating you.

“I was a thief too but it was the small notes like N50, N100 for Ps 1 back then after school, but bro, 40k no be me 😭.” ~ Neyoog

Ijeoma, can’t forgive you o… That’s same thing you did to meπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

6. Talk about Ogbanje lefti

“Forcefully trying to make a lefty use their right hand for everything.” ~ Kabeera

Lefty are those kids whose dominant hand is the left hand! Right showed respect, well trained and properly groomed to our parents then.πŸ˜‚

7. Uncle Rufus the brother in law

“Having extended family members live in and Aunties and Uncles having opinions about your choices πŸ™„” ~ Menja

“My mom made my elder sister’s suitor to punish us each time we come back late from playing with other kids.” ~ Mam

Till today, In-laws and suitors still do this till today, talk about they are part of the family! πŸ™„.

8. Open ya mouth

“At party day in Nursery school all of us pupils would be asked to bring a bottle of mineral and a pack of biscuit.”

“Then the teachers would carry big buckets to pour the drinks inside and use cups to scoop them for us to drink and pass onto the next person. Crazy stuff!” ~ Efike

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ’”πŸ’” I died in that one, replaying it in my head was maaaaddd! I wish I could ask what happens to the child that refused to open mouth? πŸ€”

9. Into my heart ❀️

“Being forced to drink anointing oil and partaking in a 3-day dry fast as a child.”

“My siblings & I threw up on the last day because we weren’t told how to properly break after not eating or drinking for 3 days.”

“We didn’t think it was normal, but we couldn’t fight back.” ~ Koromone.

I hated Fridays back in school cos of this. I used to wonder how Jesus did 40 days & nights.

10. “My wife come take biscuit”

“Full grown men calling literal children ‘my wife’ and the parent/guardian just laughing along.” ~ Lauren

“One guy who taught us choreography at a children’s club we attended used to call my little sister “my wife.”

“We thought it was funny until my mom walked in as this bāstard placed my sister on his laps in our living room, with this thing hard like a ram’s. My mom chased him out.” ~ Ola

As a child I used to get angry when a big brother called my crush “his wife”, I had no idea there were more than meets the eye.

Only problem is, as an adult, I find it difficult to ever call someone’s kid, ‘my wife’. I thought it was my mind being dirty.


Meanwhile, Is there any that you feel was missed out. Do well to use the comment box, and ehh, don’t forget to share your thoughts on these ones shared here, on the comment box. πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

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  1. This brought back so many memories, it’s crazy how as a Nigerian/African out childhoods are so similar almost like our parents took parenting classes together or something πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

  2. When I started changing teeth, my parents made me run round the house seven times, singing, then I will throw the tooth on the zinc. I was told that if I don’t do that the tooth won’t grow back. Omo, I’m guilty too o, I did same to mt nephew too.

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