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Over time, the issue of romance has been a thing between the ‘feminist coven’ and the ‘patriarchy football club’ in Nigeria, with both pointing fingers to each other.

The Nigerian man has always believed that you do need money for a Nigerian lady to be in love with you, while the typical Nigerian woman believes that the Nigerian man has nothing to offer asides his money. With many of the belief that true love does not exist.

Most women even go on to say that if a Nigerian man meets with a lady who is self sufficient and wealthy enough to fend for herself, he shies away, because at this point his money is no good.

They further pointed out the Nigerian man loves a lady who is not equal or more than him on the ‘pocket level’. One who meets the Nigerian man for all her needs, and he then chooses when or when not to give her.

Well, as you may know I am a corp member (corper) in a village – Isua Akoko in Ondo State, and as much as one may say it is a village, I have also come to study the style of life here. I have gotten involved too.

As much as you may not know, there is also ‘love’ here. I came across this ‘beautiful damsel’ (No, not in distress), and in the course of time, I discovered, there were no ice creams here, no restaurant to sit out, no beaches, no cinemas. You could simply say that you do not need money to be romantic in this case.

But before jumping on to conclusions, I decided to hear from 5 Nigerian ladies

Do you think a man can be romantic without money?


Kelira: Yes dear but it helps a lot. Romance is in the little things. The little things that show care bah depending on the lady but you can have all the money in the world and throw money her way but she won’t be satisfied because you will just be the money bag.

Yea for me, as a person it covers a wide range that when listed seems like a chore list but its those things you just do in your spare time to show care.

What is the top three out of your bucket list?

Kelira: As a person I think my major love language is words of affirmation. I like to be told every now and then just how you feel about me, gas me up, sweet talk and I am a sucker for cute text messages. I also appreciate actions a lot because words not backed by actions is just bullshit.

So that foot rub after a long day, that unsolicited cup of coffee that warm bath, that well needed meal (even if you bought it and poured it inside plate and say you cooked it or you cook trash, its the thought that ultimately counts). Covering me up when I am cold and forget to sleep with a blanket, helping me tie my hair up when I am struggling to being my official zip guy.

I am not so big on physical contact but what girl will say she doesn’t like gifts or surprises. A cute teddy bear, a new mug for my coffee, sending me lunch while I am at work because I am too engrossed to leave for lunch, remembering my birthday even if it is chicken Republic you buy and Supreme ice cream and Ribena but setting it up to look like a romantic date for 2 is the best birthday gift ever.

Making me laugh by being silly. Yes, I love Prada, Gucci and exotic vacations and luxury just as much as the next girl but I wouldn’t trade a man that cares, for that.

One could be forgiven for saying its a chore list. But I am sure many ladies would so want this. Now onto our second lady:

Do you think a man be romantic without money?

Precious: Yes, certain gestures are romantic. How broke can a person be to not be able to afford the smallest things? If you can’t afford the smallest things as a person (male or female) leave relationships alone!

Wow! Some would say this is harsh! Out of your huge bucket list, what counts as top three romantic gestures?

Precious: Surprise gifts no matter how little, but very thoughtful and well put out. Dates, and really good simple gestures. Preparing nice meals for your partners when they are busy or stressed out. Nights in watching their favorite shows to make them feel better, etc.

(laughs) The et cetera you added at the end. Now, let’s say I am in a village, with no place for dates, no movie halls. What can count as romantic?

Precious: A picnic. Long good Walks. I’m sure you can get gifts around. Tiny efforts, cooking for your partner.

Do you think a man be romantic without money?

Gift: Yes, they can but I will be completely honest, MONEY does make Love more enjoyable and spice things up a whole lot.
P.S: Women can not be romantic too without money, not just the man. I mean planning a five-star dinner (with your amazing cooking) and gifting your that man an expensive gift (not gotten with his money) is not such a bad idea, is it?

What is the top three out of your bucket list?

Gift: First, I feel the first will be, being able to play and have fun and do things outside the normal with me, being open .

Second, will be a man who compliments and supports my goals and dreams and do some of the things he knows I have passion for or hobbies(hardly find couples that have same exact hobbies the first time they met, it’s learnt).

Third will be a man who can do things with out being asked to do so, like opening the car door, making the bed, surprise me with his cooking. Basically, being able to understand how I feel in a specific moment and being able to do something about it.

Wow! Just Wow! Let us check what the next lady has to say about romance and money.

Do you think a man be romantic without money?


Jessica: Yes.

What is the top three out of your bucket list?

Jessica: Long hugs. Inside jokes😹❤️❤️❤️❤️ah that’s my besttttt. (Inside jokes are jokes which are exclusive to the couple). Helping me with stuffs.

Wow! This is great. Hearing from different ladies, on their take. Though it seems somewhat similar. I would love to this with the male folks sometime.

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  1. This is Fantastic..
    Good write Paul.
    So so educative…
    You know I had always thought on ways to show love aside from the regular money thrills..
    Never knew that the females too appreciated non-monetary love expressions…


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