I know you could be up in your feelings right now, as I am. I am usually an emotional rock (like I can be emotionally off)… Now, someone is just flipping the switch incessantly; and worse is I’m listening to ‘This time’ by John Legend. She can be cold and warm at the same time; I pray I survive this one. I told her, she’s penetrating my walls and she said she hasn’t even put effort; what then happens when she does?
So this Sunday evening, in the wake of the cool breeze I’m feeling; I reminisced upon a question a friend asked me. She wanted to go back to her ex, whom she loved and actually broke up with her cos she wasn’t ready to lose her virginity. According to her, “he said he needed sex and loved her too much to cheat on her”. It was really weird; sometimes I don’t know what to tell people. Sometimes I feel my counsels are wise; other times I feel they aren’t. What do I know? I guess we never know it all.
Zino Oscar, a female introvert who loves making research on anything; replied no when asked if she would take back her ex. According to her, “He didn’t even leave me for a good reason.
Another Honourine Ovu-Eleonu, a female too, a performance poet and writer; replied in the negative. In her words, “If I see that there’s no need to go back; especially when the break up made me realize that we were better off being just friends than lovers, and sometimes some exes come back because of selfish reasons and some persons also accept their exes because of selfish reasons too”.
A third female, that requested to be anonymous also replied negatively; saying, “See, I don’t know for others’ exes; but mine are better left in the past where they belong. When emotions come calling ask yourself, why did I leave in the firs place?”. She went on to say, “Most times, our emotions just want closure, don’t forget the lesson!”.
Another female by name Jessica, an undergraduate, a model, singer and songwriter who is crazy about deep words and lyrics actually spoke in contrast to the other females. She said she’d take him back; I won’t lie, I was taken aback. In her words, “Yes, If I didn’t fall out of love I would; because, personally I don’t get over people so easily.” I’m sure she might not be alone on that.
Now, what about another female who admitted she was the ex that needed to be forgiven. She’s quite a beauty; light complexioned with eyes that could command Pharaoh. Her words were touching; I felt for her. She said, “Yeah, I would; because I still have feelings for the supposed ex and he’s real, honest and everything. Guys like that are rare; he was too good and i wasn’t seeing it. I asked her why she quit; her response? “We had a fight, I was upset at the time”. She went on to say, “I probably hurt him a lot and I was at fault; he was insecure, cos there are a lot of guys on my page. My chats gets him confused and all, I was tired of explaining I was faithful and didn’t even know when breakup came out of my mouth”. Now, this is a confession you don’t get everyday from a female; I guess that’s why she chose to be anonymous.
I know you might be wondering about the male folks. Well, our first male Numgbi Emmanuel Bariture an undergraduate with passion of developing human’s well-being across the continent had this to say, “Depends on who broke up the relationship, and depends on what transpired during the relationship. If its a random relationship, I would say ‘No’; because what made us break up would still break us up again. He further went on to buttress his point saying, “Hearts are not meant for experiment. Take your time to decide, cos someone like me; if you leave, you leave.”
Another male MEKA WRIGHTS a poet and writer replied, “Well, it depends on the circumstances surrounding the break-up. And it depends on the kind of Ex whether toxic or not”. When quizzed further, he went on to say, “Well, it’s complicated. It also depends on the kind of Ex like I said earlier, if she’s the type of person that I see a future with; let’s say she’s mentally productive and her family is okay, then I’d reconsider. Also, it depends on what caused the break up too; I might have been toiling with the gift that God had given me, so she left to enable me discover myself, thereafter coming back. Everything centers on the kind of ex, really.”
Well then; it was all summed up by our relationship counsellor from last time. I guess we might never know. EMMANUEL DURU, a male had a lot to say, now to his words.
“First, what made us break up?
Secondly, people change but then, did she or he get better or worse?
Third, at this stage in my life; is this the kinda person I ‘need’ in my life?
Lastly, what are the basis of me going back?”
I must say I read with all attention at this point, as he went on to say,
“It takes time for one to grow into a ‘fine’ woman or man. Sadly, along the line of becoming so; we make crazy and careless decisions as human beings and this can in one way or the other affect another person’s emotions and life in general. Everyone wants Mr right or Mrs right but then, how many people themselves ‘are‘ Mr or Mrs right at the moment?”
“There could be circumstances surrounding the break up.
It could be behavioural; maybe he or she needs a time out to grow up and be better, master or improve a certain aspect of life, focus or something.
Most times, people break up cos of differences in perspectives. She or he does this and I don’t like it; she or he is childish, she or he this, she or he that.
That’s why I strongly advice you date someone like you, who you’re friends with; cos when you’re friends, it’s easier to come to an agreement about a particular difference. Not a reflection of yourself but someone who has a lot in common with you.
So, if my ex and I feel we’ve outgrown certain things and wanna try again; then yes we would gladly do that!”
Pheeewww! I guess by now you can now choose your path. I do really hope so; wish to add anything for someone to benefit? Feel free to drop in the comment box!