An image of two friends of the opposite sex with faces of bliss.
Photo Credit: Port Harcourt Literary Society

Smiles, smiles so fabulous; the silent wishes. I pray I don’t sound patriarchal, cos it seems its only the males that have this feeling. Its only the males that actually make the move.

Most times, we end up with awesome friends we wish we were dating. They’re so good that we’re even scared of losing them and rather choose to wait till the coast is super clear. Question is: Is it ever super clear? While in college (or university), I had an awesome friend of the opposite sex. A wonderful one, she was a sister, a mom, a wife, think of anything a female can be to a male, that she was; aside my lover. I was never sure if all the lights were green. Though, there were times when she was jealous of me communicating with other females; and she usually found a way to truncate whatever it is I was building with any other girl. Now, not that I wasn’t brave at some point. For starters, my compliments were never duplicated but were always shrugged off by her. Whenever she got “Love texts” from me; she’d ask me “what was the meaning of that? ” Whenever she visited me, she walked like she owned my house. My friends thought there was something on; many persons did think so, but we both knew it wasn’t concrete. After college, a friend of mine asked why nothing concrete came out of us two. She replied, “He wasn’t so serious?”. When he told me, I was really shocked. I dropped many subtle lines by which she could lead me on, I believed she did see them and never led me.

When it comes to love, I might be indifferent. So are many people out there; due to one or two past events. I remembered joining a friend of mine to attend the wedding of an ex. He really was distraught and felt maybe it was because he doesn’t have money yet. He never danced, at some point I regretted convincing him to come. When we left the place, his complaints never dried up. From saying the groom isn’t even handsome, to his academic qualification, to his gait, to how he laughs (chuckles).

In order not to be gender biased. Let me delve onto the feminine scene. I am friends to a lot of females and many of them confide in me. You get shocked when you see the amount of love they have for a guy. The ladies are actually the gurus on this. A guy can’t be onto a lady and you won’t know. But the ladies, they can be super discreet. They are super super into him, yet he has no idea! A lady on a previous post on this blog did say, “Love doesn’t exist”. What would I know? My dad once told me, ” Son, if you’d be having female friends; make sure they have the qualities you’d need in a bride”. Most times you have this perfect friend of the opposite sex, he or she embodies all you’d want in life partner and yet he or she isn’t that partner and many times, oblivious of that piece of knowledge.

Should we be braver? Is that not putting yourself out there? Could it not result in ridicule. I could remember when I was in high school. I remember visiting www.askmen.com and wikihow to learn how to turn your best friend to your lover. I know how you seem to have that electric connection, perfect synergy, great understanding; and you begin to feel maybe you’re being a coward. You start thinking of crossing the line. (Chuckles) I can’t actually be the one to give an advice on this. I had a friend who I was wooing last year, already married before the end of this year.

But if there’s any piece of knowledge to come from my box is this:

LOVE is more than just a rush feeling. Its something that should not be rushed. If its love, it would be spontaneous. If it isn’t, then it isn’t love. There’s no rulebook to love.

But if you do have a friend that you’ve had the hots for. Go for it, it might be mutual for all you know. And if it doesn’t work out, you’ve been friends, you can always get back to being friends.

But fear shouldn’t stop you. Its better to be an old man with smiles than an old man with regrets and thoughts of what could have been?

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